6yo piece, Sat 19Mar2k5 "My Writer's Task"

#8 write something about or compile from all of the above
#9 write a précis version of #8
>>#10 write a scripted version of it with at least two people in it all the time
GT, "Hi, is that Mr. Christian Hilton?"
CH, "Yes, this is he, to whom am I speaking?"
GT, "Well, good afternoon Mr. Hilton, I am Glenyss Throughput, secretary to the editor of the Standard"
CH, "Well hello, to what do I owe the pleasure of this call?"
GT, "Mr. Hilton, I am calling to see if you have a moment to spend discussing your recent submission to us regarding your 'writer's task' and the content therein?"
CH, "Indeed I do, I would be delighted to discuss it"
GT, "Thankyou Mr. Hilton, I will just put you through to Mr. Dard's office"
CH, "Thankyou"
[brief interlude with elevator music]
SD, "Mr. Hilton?, This is Mr Dard - I understand you are having some difficulty with the whole shebang - a matter of concern for those of us wholly supporting Mr. Blair's policy of 'hitting the ground running'"
CH, "Hello Mr. Dard, yes, you see that I am off guard by being launched simultaneously into this conversation without really knowing where you are going"
SD, "Ah, well, labour man you see, I'm staunching something by doing it - does that help?"
CH, "Hmmm, I'll take your point and express concern then as I believe my submission to your office says I will"
SD, "Yes, it will say that, I have to agree - y'see I'm sure I can steer that bally thing anywhere - why aren't you running in the election?  You're at once moreish, boring and impossible to quieten, the whole piece positively roars PM - you done any civil service?"
CH, "Mr. Dard, I told your secretary that I would be delighted to discuss the piece and as yet we have not got to the delightful part, may I suggest that we do that now and consider it a civil service I am doing for you?"
SD, "Aha, I see you will stand by those words, very good - you won't have to honour them, just look as miserable as you sound while I fire some questions at you, I'll get the Blair physiognomy off your case, or face, in an instant..., delightful will be an understatement"
CH, "I thank you Mr. Dard - your magnanimity is surpassed only by your 'on hold music'"
SD, "Mr Hilton, do you think that Mr Blair has a vendetta of any kind?"
CH, "I think if he has none then he is purged of them for his role and will earn them all back by having a public image"
SD, "So, if he has a public image, does he want to stock up on good vendetta material? type of question?"
CH, "I didn't pose a question so much as express dissatisfaction and concern myself with publishing the Universal Party policies - but if Mr. Blair has a moment in politics with a vendetta, it will be a moment seized and exploited by every available member of the press, like every other moment we would like to criticise, regardless of agenda"
SD, "Okay Mr. Hilton let's get down to the awesome fact - You are running in an election you can only support the outcome of whichever way it goes... do you know who that makes you in historical terms?"
CH, "I am being myself, I have thirty one years history of being myself and fewer years therein with a complete self-awareness of myself, but little has changed in my lifetime except my opinion to how the fabric of reality is suddenly torn off and re-papered with the new party colours, sometimes at a hideous cost to the electorate."
SD, "Then if you had a vendetta, against who or what would it be?"
CH, "Myself"
SD, "Oh? I mean why?
CH, "It's a quote, a bit cheesy but true all the same, - Others' lives are the basis of your own - I should have found myself in there to my liking, I simply don't and it has come about this way since the Blair Britain started, ahem, blaring"
SD, "I'm sure it has, listen, you write with a feeling that's on the pulse, is this a masterpiece you been cooking for a while or did your typer just spew it out while you watched?"
CH, "In your terms, the latter - please don't call it spewing, you'll have me researching automatic writing again"
SD, "Heh, a deal for you then Christian, may I call you Christian?"
CH, "Well you'll have to be very sure of never calling me Chris, I resent such low standards"
SD, "...Okay then Christian, you fight the good fight, here's the moment of truth - ..."
[the pause prompts CH to check he is still connected]
CH, "Mr. Dard?"
SD, "Please, call me Stan"
CH, "Mr. Dard - do you understand what I mean when I say others' lives are the basis of your own?"
SD, "Oh yes, no fear - that's the pulse I've been feeling, listen I've got to run with a big story, it really is big enough to cut this conversation short and regrettably I may not be able to get back to you for a while.  If you can keep me updated on the home front Christian, I'll be very grateful"
CH, "Well that's my prerogative Mr. Dard - I have drafted an application for recognition and appraisal of new job criteria outlining just that...  This of course means we are negotiating salary"
SD, "Sure we are, you'll want me to call you Mr. Hilton next..."
CH, "You already do"
SD, "Yes, Mmm er, okay tell me what you have there"
CH, "The 'Home Bearer' - I will email it to you, it is nothing to behold as a stream of words pouring from your phone's earpiece unless you take pleasure in the sound of writ"
SD, "Get it here this afternoon and the job's yours"
CH, "You are certainly not pay rolling me without telling me what I earn"
SD, "Oh you do have a vendetta?"
CH, "No, nor a job - but I don't go out for peanuts"
SD, "Why aren't you self-employed?"
CH, "Why aren't you running with a big story?"
SD, "Thirty Thousand plus expenses!?"
[pause]
CH, " - Oh, am I supposed to bite your hand off?"
SD, "I'll bet you never earned that much in a year"
CH, "I'll bet from the way you buttered me up, you never employed anyone who earned it"
SD, "My paper is reputable throughout Mr. Hilton"
CH, "Well thank you Stan - I believe you are contracting my soul for the duration, but it seems reasonable given my professional interests, I accept"
SD, "Son, you'll be a father if you're not careful"
CH, "Empathy sees me way beyond that - what do you need covering?"
SD, "We're re-papering an electorate in the new party colours, big celebrations to start with, a new Conservative take on Britain's affairs - always said they'd clinch it if Blair wanted another go or called it in late"
CH, "Few regrets though?"
SD, "Not my opinion that counts, get out there and grill the electorate, we need the facts"
CH, "Ok, I will if you say please"
SD, "I beg your pardon Mr. Hilton, your standards have surely stripped me of my office - please can you quiz the electorate and bring the facts to our readers?"
CH, "A Home Bearer Society has to be founded Mr. Dard and it needs a trustworthy Ombudsman, this is not part of the campaign trail I am on - it is it's wake and a very sore looking lot in it"
SD, "... then send me the paperwork or what you've got and I'll have it seen to..."
CH, "Thankyou Mr. Dard - it is delightful to know I can reach my fellow man and find a friend"
SD, "Yes, well thankyou - I look forward to it"
CH, "Bye for now"
SD, "Yes [smiles in realisation] goodbye"

[click buzzzzz]

https://docs.google.com/leaf?id=0B7DQHJSQu6jOZTEwYzQzOWEtNDVmMy00YjU0LWFjODYtYzA3MjFmZjJiM2U4&hl=en_US

BBC News - Illegal immigrants flooding into the UK

I have a kind of solution here based on a crisis centre I devised for large scale emergencies (earthquakes/floods and the like)....

It is a call to duty for all citizens who can spare the time to make the process more comprehensive as a 'human network initiative' rather than a 'government protocol logistical administration' and which maintains a presence everywhere there are people crossing the borders illegally.

1. First job is to set up a shelter big enough for seating hundreds of people - seating & tables provided too.
2. Secondly, the basics for civilisation;

• Food is served,
• Beds and showers are available
• & as well as a laundry that also provides a rudimentary change of apparel so a person with only the clothes they stand in can shower, change into a robe and then launder their clothes....

A sign for these places is in all languages and reads;

 Shelter First, Immigration Touchstone
- Find Your Way From Here

...and the operation is an agreed response by all the governments of the world and with the resources made available on the sites;  People, food, shelter, accomodation, liaisons for legal passport, etc. - all what makes it a worthwhile response to the issue, immigrants will find their means are vastly improved.
From this point, if they are attempting illegal entry into a country, there is little justifying it with the provision that has been made for them - given the amount of people this concept would be servicing, and the manpower it would require - simply secure them a job on site - they get food, accomodation and hygiene facilities and the basic rate of pay would let them build their profile towards new clothes, better jobs with eligibility gained from reliable attendance at this halfway staging....

It may seem a massive undertaking - but structures these days are light frames and technically capable of being a self-regulating thermostatic environment - it could so easily be the living breathing entity that is our human nature as an atmosphere of calm orderly conduct between people of many nationalities and backgrounds finds direction & purpose in one place - enough of their lives being an urgent scramble for a life on other shores...., put something en route that absorbs them into the right mentality & path they should be on!

eh? ha ha, ...it started out as a tent.
...a moment, here it is, on Google Docs 

- Sketchup model can now be viewed and downloaded from,
http://sketchup.google.com/3dwarehouse/details?mid=6e008cb720d61d3a3da47f3904c8d04d

Very briefly, aside from the 'campaign'. [UPDATE 16Feb2k11 - new graphic for UGW]

Take a bank note you usually carry, one that is enough to buy at least 20 cigarettes and get change.

  I'm using £10 for this, and a lighter, matches are also ok - just something you use to light a cigarette with;

Now, first we have to gauge the thickness of cigarette paper in this comparison.  A normal thick paper is 16-21 g/m².

Most banknotes are made of dense 80 to 90 grams per square meter cotton paper

Next, the circumference of a cigarette's paper-wrapped cylinder generally less than 120 mm in length and 10 mm in diameter - we'll say 80mm.

pi x diameter = 31.415926535897932384626433832795, we'll say 31.42mm

31.42 x 80 = 2513.6mm² or 25.136cm²

This figure is for 16 - 21gsm and we need it for 80 - 90gsm, & using the average of each;
 (16+21) / 2 = 18.5gsm : (80+90) / 2 = 85gsm

So, (18.5 x 100) / 85 = 21.764705882352941176470588235294, we'll say 21.76%

  Then 25.136 x 0.2176 = 5.4695936cm² equivalent paper...

    ....expressed as a fraction of a £10 note's 75mm height;

546.95936 = 72.92791467% , we'll say 73%, & instead perform the multiplication on 10mm

So that, a 7.3mm strip cut from the edge of a £10 note equates to a regular cigarette paper;

...Like this bit, would you snip it off, set it alight and let it finish burning in an empty jam jar, then take the lid off and breathe it all in ?

Basically up in smoke or gone with the wind - it's just a kick in the chest to a money conscious person...., there's no ascribed benefit to this part of the product except that it keeps the contents together while the fumes are inhaled..., so it is smoked too.....

  To illustrate another perspective (seeing as some will maintain I have pointed out something that looks like smoking twenty cigarette papers without tobacco and it costing me £10), consider the actual reason people have a commercial tobacco product - the habit, demand for it means they are manufactured in packets of twenty.  This is the crunch - an average cigarette yields about 1 mg of absorbed nicotine, but how much smoke is inhaled to deliver this??

I have been trying to find out the cubic measurement or the mg of actually inhaled tobacco smoke, and remembering; of which some is exhaled - it is not an exact science.

To do this successfully a filter would have to be weighed and then used to suck a burning cigarette from start to finish so that no smoke is drawn all the way through it - the filter is then weighed with the cigarette smoke in it.  This is the potential amount for maximum delivery of nicotine (the bit you're paying for).  Most people do not fully inhale all the smoke, but it is the best way to do the sums and then say that of a packet of twenty, you're probably smoking one to five whole cigarettes with no waste.  Oooops, more money up in smoke....;  see what I'm saying?

For the sake of being earnest - the perspective is this;
You want something where a cigarette 'goes' in your life, but when you have cigarettes it becomes an addictive drug habit and if you concede that's what it is, but do not stop - then you effectively carry a disease....

...and if you do not smoke all of each cigarette, you are being ripped off in the process of degenerating your natural well-being.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicotine

The basis of this point of view is that once you are needing the drug, but are not expressing a symptom other than the need for the drug, then you've got the symptoms of a drug habit for which you take the drug to get relief...., particularly because a packet of twenty is the usual amount and for some just one day's worth after which they do the same the following day - Twenty what?  The word is 'fixes'. 

There was a time when the amount in one cigarette would be apt for at least a day if not a week or more - even calling it a 'life event' & never doing it again, so you may not have to mind smokers continuing going to fix'abit because they could be a long way from such a 'modest beginning' - such as one would say commercially available packets of twenty filter tips have become the mainstream consumer product - but since when?  After the use of tobacco in cigarette form found increasing popularity during and after the Crimean War (1832: TURKEY: Invention of the paper-rolled cigarette?) - the first 'manufactured' cigarettes are 1860's Bull Durham brand, perhaps 1931's Parliament brand - but are they in packets of 20  & filter tipped?

Call those the culprit at any rate - they're the tobacconist's "wallpaper"

...& while the disctinct clarion call is 'alfresco will soon also be demanding of fresh air'
(smokers will be ordered to confine the habit to their registered domicile - effectively their coffin).

Tower is uploaded

Please direct your browser - MySpace/TargetAudienceBandwidth

Model above available to download from 3D Warehouse

or listen here...

Thanks for tuning in to the channel output meltdown

Christian

Poem Of/On The Moment

On A Network Site

Well, who doesn't want to breathe? - Nobody here...
Here, on a social networking site,
  - the person is logged on and using the service.

And who doesn't want a thought? - Nobody here...
Here as the medium 'read' from, short of being red,
  - the person is 'thoughts as narrative'.

And why not have, who would not have a life?
Here...,
On a social networking site,
  - the person is a conscious effort.

And consciousness is an everybody thing,
Necessitating it's 'it' reiterating,
  - the person is 'it's theme.

Who then,
would be bad doing this,
except for the sick?

[Bless 'em]